Brenda and I were at one of the Restaurants  near Fayetteville Arkansas we frequented several years ago.

While sitting there and enjoying our meal, there was an abrupt crash of dishes breaking.

Now where I’m from people would erupt into unsolicited applause, I’m glad none of those people were present this day.

With most of the attention drawn to the part of the dining room where the accident took place, emerged the hard working waitress.
What happened next was deeply disturbing. She began a public verbal assault on herself. “I’m so stupid!” “I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” were the barrage of attacks on herself. “I can’t do anything right!” “I’m so clumsy!”
This went on for about a minute which was an eternity for what I was experiencing just listening to her scolding herself repeatedly.

I called her to our table as Brenda I tried to settle her down. We began to explain to her that it was a mistake.

I couldn’t help in that moment but to think, that this probably wasn’t the waitress’s first mistake. She’s human, I’m human, we’re all human. One of the trademarks of being human is that we all WILL, sooner or later make a mistake…guaranteed.

If you’re remotely similar to me, you have made quite a few in your life, and a very high likelihood that we’ll make more.

With our friend the waitress my concern was if this wasn’t her first mistake, how was she treated previously?
Was she representing, someone who ridiculed her in that manner before who wasn’t present then? Was she trying to “beat an onlooker to the punch” meaning; if I can tear myself down before you do, you won’t have to, and I can be spared the embarrassment of you criticizing me publicly.

Our friend’s response that day to her simple mistake spoke more to us about her previous experiences than she may not have realized.

I don’t like making mistakes. I’d rather not, however it’s the management and understanding surrounding them that I believe is important here.

When I make a mistake my identity is still protected. My identity is who I am, NOT my mistake, so if I make a mistake, I understand that I made one but I’m NOT one.

The waitress had a fractured identity. It’s like looking at her image in a shattered mirror. The waitress’s image wasn’t shattered physically, but what she was looking through as a result of past experiences, may have reinforced that negative image of herself in her mind.

It is important we make these distinctions. It’s vital that we differentiate what was said or done to us, versus who we truly are, independent of the opinions, views, negative words of others, including ourselves, ESPECIALLY ourselves!

Brenda and I spoke with the woman and shared with her how we saw her and tried our best to comfort her. While it may have helped her that day, and we were grateful to do so, she would need additional reinforcement.

There must be a foundation in the heart of every life that is clear about who they are in God’s eyes, that informs them of who they are from a personal perspective.

Identity will buttress and anchor us like few things could ever do. Identity latches on to purpose, purpose latches on to vision, and vision latches on to eternity and eternity is found in God where we originate…

Not, that THAT shattered mirror image!

anablepsis