Photo Credit: Brenda Chambliss

My conscience obligates me to do this post. George Floyd an African American man in Minneapolis Minnesota lost his life to a now former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin.

Chauvin a Caucasian male, while on duty was seen in a video recording with his knee placed on the neck of the handcuffed George Floyd for a reportedly 4-6 minutes until Floyd expired, officer Chauvin’s knee was still on the lifeless Floyd’s neck for an additional 2-3 minutes.

It was reported that Floyd called on his mother (who is deceased) before dying as he pleaded for mercy as he stated that he couldn’t breathe.

There has been outrage over this incident, several cities in America rising up in peaceful protest demonstrating their pain and anguish for the gruesome death in broad daylight of an American citizen.

I am not here to take political sides. I’m not here to make this a racial issue because if it is one, I couldn’t stop it from being one anyway. I’m not here to make Mr. Floyd a devil of a saint. I’m not here to do either of the same to Mr. Chauvin, however I’m not here to ignore the elephant in the room either.

There is a problem, a systemic problem in America, that makes the African American male in some places in this country an endangered species. This endangerment is on two fronts, neither will I address in detail in this post, as I have another aim here.

One critical threat is being killed by another race, the second, is being killed by his own kind also known as (Black on Black crime.)

Let me tell you as an African American man in this country, I have been in a similar position to George Floyd by ending up in police custody in the back of a police car.

In the mid eighties in a suburb of Chicago Illinois, after walking into a local department store to pay a bill, I made a phone call using a payphone just outside the store, a few feet away from the main entrance.

About a minute into my call, 3 police squad cars descended upon me, an officer jumped out of one of the cars and ordered me to drop the phone, and put my hands up against the wall and spread my legs apart. I obeyed the order. A man they believed who matched my description robbed a store at the other end of the parking lot at a completely different store.

I looked to my left over at the phone still dangling off the hook from the cord, wondering what was the person on the other line thinking as a result of my abrupt removal from the phone physically, and what they were hearing in the background. My next thought was; ‘man, I sure hope no one drives by from my Sunday School class seeing this, as I was being patted down by the officer.

I looked to my right and saw an officer approaching me who looked at me as he was walking up, shaking his head he uttered; “that’s not him.” The guy they were looking for was a black male (that was the term back then) around 5 foot 8 inches, I’m black 6 feet 2 inches. I was questioned and I told the officer, I had just left the department store from paying my bill, and was making a phone call.

Although one officer said that I didn’t match the description, nevertheless I was handcuffed placed in the backseat of a squad car taken to the other end of the parking lot where the large department store was robbed. While being parked out front and after what seemed like an eternity FINALLY, two gentlemen came out of the store, a Caucasian gentleman and an African American gentleman, they both looked in the backseat of the car at me, I saw both shake their heads no. The officer asked them if they were sure…they responded yes, they were sure, as though I was there for the taking if trying to find the robber was too much trouble.

I was taken back to my car, uncuffed and let go without apology. That ordeal shook me up. I’ll NEVER forget that day, being innocent and detained as a suspect, humiliated as a human, mortified as a man.

While I appreciate your patience, that’s not what I wanted to broach in this post.

Since the death of George Floyd, there have been peaceful protesters, demonstrating and utilizing their right to peacefully assemble and protest their grievances. Many of them angry, upset over what they felt was the wrongful death of George Floyd while in the custody of the Minneapolis Police department particularly one of their own officers who committed murder in cold blood with a badge.

In my May 13th post entitled “Revist Review Amend,” I raised the issue of the murder of another African American male Ahmaud Arbery, killed while jogging in Georgia last February with his murders being apprehended only a few short weeks ago.

Here’s my point in all this. Am I angry, you bet I am, especially when it becomes so easy to kill unarmed African American men without serious repercussions for the perpetrators.

This problem didn’t just start, it’s been going on for years, decades, and longer depending on who you ask, some caught on video, others unfortunately not.

In George Floyd’s death there are serious issues to be raised but there is an impediment to doing so when looters, infiltrate themselves with protestors. When the looters burn police cars, setting stores and businesses on fire, it smothers the true conversation and purpose, the villains are now culprits who in the name of George Floyd proclaim they are doing that in his memory… STOP IT!

There is nothing more sinister than criminals attaching themselves to a cause to besmirch the cause and sabotage it with criminal acts and violence, provoking police to incite more violence against citizens and peaceful protestors. This is wickedness at its core.

Not all African American men are a problem, troublemakers, lazy, void of handling responsibilities as advertised by some. On the flip side not all police officers are hateful evil killers haters of African American men.

What truly separates a person is not the color of their skin, not their job description, not their money, but the quality or grade of their heart.

So as for Derek Chauvin George Floyd’s killer with a badge. Under the badge was was uniform and under the uniform was “ white” skin… but none of the above was ever the problem, not any of these things killed George Floyd, but what was under the “white” skin which could be found under anyone’s skin. A cold, dark, miserable, hate filled, angry murderous heart. THAT’S the culprit, the HEART. That’s what motivates action or harnesses it. So if we are going to fix the society we need a heart transplant for people with evil heart problems.

A few days ago Derek Chauvin’s heart convinced him that he was God over George Floyd so he put his knee on his neck until the cocktail of hatred in his heart intoxicated him into taking the life God gave George Floyd, because whatever he did, whatever he said, or maybe just how he looked…in Chauvin’s heart and mind Floyd was worthy of death to him, it’s just that easy.

anablepsis.

Brenda and I were at one of the Restaurants  near Fayetteville Arkansas we frequented several years ago.

While sitting there and enjoying our meal, there was an abrupt crash of dishes breaking.

Now where I’m from people would erupt into unsolicited applause, I’m glad none of those people were present this day.

With most of the attention drawn to the part of the dining room where the accident took place, emerged the hard working waitress.
What happened next was deeply disturbing. She began a public verbal assault on herself. “I’m so stupid!” “I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” were the barrage of attacks on herself. “I can’t do anything right!” “I’m so clumsy!”
This went on for about a minute which was an eternity for what I was experiencing just listening to her scolding herself repeatedly.

I called her to our table as Brenda I tried to settle her down. We began to explain to her that it was a mistake.

I couldn’t help in that moment but to think, that this probably wasn’t the waitress’s first mistake. She’s human, I’m human, we’re all human. One of the trademarks of being human is that we all WILL, sooner or later make a mistake…guaranteed.

If you’re remotely similar to me, you have made quite a few in your life, and a very high likelihood that we’ll make more.

With our friend the waitress my concern was if this wasn’t her first mistake, how was she treated previously?
Was she representing, someone who ridiculed her in that manner before who wasn’t present then? Was she trying to “beat an onlooker to the punch” meaning; if I can tear myself down before you do, you won’t have to, and I can be spared the embarrassment of you criticizing me publicly.

Our friend’s response that day to her simple mistake spoke more to us about her previous experiences than she may not have realized.

I don’t like making mistakes. I’d rather not, however it’s the management and understanding surrounding them that I believe is important here.

When I make a mistake my identity is still protected. My identity is who I am, NOT my mistake, so if I make a mistake, I understand that I made one but I’m NOT one.

The waitress had a fractured identity. It’s like looking at her image in a shattered mirror. The waitress’s image wasn’t shattered physically, but what she was looking through as a result of past experiences, may have reinforced that negative image of herself in her mind.

It is important we make these distinctions. It’s vital that we differentiate what was said or done to us, versus who we truly are, independent of the opinions, views, negative words of others, including ourselves, ESPECIALLY ourselves!

Brenda and I spoke with the woman and shared with her how we saw her and tried our best to comfort her. While it may have helped her that day, and we were grateful to do so, she would need additional reinforcement.

There must be a foundation in the heart of every life that is clear about who they are in God’s eyes, that informs them of who they are from a personal perspective.

Identity will buttress and anchor us like few things could ever do. Identity latches on to purpose, purpose latches on to vision, and vision latches on to eternity and eternity is found in God where we originate…

Not, that THAT shattered mirror image!

anablepsis

A lot of people I know are facing fear, facing uncertainty. This happens when outcomes weigh in the balance that have yet to be determined. That’s understandable. But did you know that 80% of the things we worry about don’t happen?

I get it, you say; ‘it’s not the 80% I’m worried about Kelvin, it’s the 20%! Listen, there is a cure if you find yourself even in the 20% too. It’s called the grace and mercy of God.

Many don’t realize the grace and mercy of God extended to those in need, it’s designed to show them the goodness of God who feel they don’t deserve His grace and mercy, and yet need it.

One definition for grace is God’s unmerited favor. Extending something to us that we need but don’t deserve.

Why would God do that for you or me? I’m not a 100% sure, but I believe because He’s destined us for something greater than what we’re experiencing now.

Titus 2:11-NIV says; “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people,” this means that God offered “rescue” or salvation to the one in need or trouble.

One of the myths about God is that He’s angry with people who don’t follow Him.

I believe people don’t follow God because they generally don’t KNOW Him, or perhaps He hasn’t been properly introduced to them. People have been familiarized with institutional church, and formalized religion, not God. Others don’t like the version introduced to them, as it’s not congruent in the lives of those declaring Him.

The pageantry of religion is not God, it’s what men have deemed as the route and manner to God. I’m not criticizing, it’s just that when you think like that, getting to God is too lofty and unattainable.

He wants people to know He’s proximate Psalms 145:18-NIV.

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God Romans 3:23-NKJV, myself included, but I took my brokenness and fractured-ness to God and He gave me a new identity and a fresh start. Man, I jumped on it because I needed it!

He forgave my past, NOT forgotten it, but healed me from it and no longer charged me with it.

It’s the only way I see at having a shot at peace and wholeness in this life. You may say; ‘I’ve been too bad, God would never forgive me.’ Let God determine that.

Others would say; ‘how would I know if God had forgiven me’? The way your natural birth certificate was recorded and registered for you as a new citizen in the city of your birth.

As a baby you were not in the knowledge of a certificate, but it was evidenced of your birth certificate that your birth did take place. As a believers our certificate of new birth is registered in heaven Job 16:19-KJV   Luke 10:20 -KJV

Salvation was secured for you and I, will we receive it?
Once we see our sinful condition, and how we’ve broken the commandments of God, we realize we need help from this spiritual quagmire.

Being a good person can’t save us, because being a “good person” didn’t keep us from breaking God’s law. Being a good person is usually compared to others, but God says; ‘your goodness is compared to ME, not others’

God sent His only Son, Jesus to die for our sins past, present, and future.

If you’re ready, pray this with me;

“God I’m in need of a savior, I’m a sinner, right now in my present spiritual state, I’m lost without you based on your law, not my conclusions. I accept Jesus your Son as the One who took the penalty for my past, present and future sins. I now ask Him to forgive me for my sins (list the ones in your mind you can recall and ask God to forgive you for them)I pray you wash these sins and memories from my life.
(Now say); I accept Jesus God’s Son into my life forever! Jesus, help me to grow, mature and thrive in you and by your example in the Bible. Thank you for forgiving me and liberating me from my past. I receive my new life now in Jesus name”

If you believed that from your heart these words to simply guide you… you are a new creation in Christ according to 2 Corinthians 5:17.

It not a religion, it a relationship going forward. Write me and tell me about your experience or questions at: Kelvin@anablepsis.com

I was told by a friend the other day that a mutual friend passed away. I was shocked because I was lookin for this friend over the past couple years and could never get a response.

One of life’s cyclical songs to me is by James Taylor called Fire and Rain which states ‘I’ve seen Fire and I’ve seen Rain, I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end, I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I’d see you again.’

Some how for me this song was a reminder of certain episodes in my life in the refrain; “ I always thought that I’d see you again.”

It’s a belief that a last experience and encounter with a person or group would be would be reserved like a bookmark in a book until the next time.

I was reminded starkly the other day, that our last time meeting may be our last time.

I’m not being morbid here, but it might serve as a conscious reminder as to how we leave each other after spending time together.

Let the final experiences memorialize fond memories, securing thoughts and acts of your kindness, care, friendship and love to those we may or may never see again.

As life continues to remind us that, there are no guarantees, let’s act deliberately with consciously favorable intent.

Well, so long my friend, I pray I served you well.

anablepsis.

Tomorrow  (May 17, 2020) I will be celebrating my 60th Birthday, that’s NOT the purpose of this post, but a result of my thoughts reflecting over my past 59 years of life.

Unequivocally, God has been good to me. I make no mistake about this. I am unashamed about this, I make no excuses about this, because I’m grateful for it.

I’m a man having both parents still living married together 61 years, my Dad 91 years my Mom 80 years. Both are still independent, neither in a nursing home, I can speak with them by phone (in another state) and I do, 3 times a week or more. My sister cares for our parents in an exceptional way.

I’m glad to be living and glad to be GIVING while living even in a time like this.

When my life began 60 years ago, only God knew how it would turn out. I’ve come to understand that we are “backing into” our future which is why the future is a mystery.

One thing I’ve learned, and continue to learn about life is that it is a mixture of good and bad, highs and lows, a gentleman told me; ‘you don’t have problems Kelvin, only challenges and opportunities.’

Those “challenges and opportunities” over time turned my hair gray, some nights put “bags” under my eyes, body aches and pains became more pronounced, resilience takes a little more time. But I wouldn’t change a thing.

Time does it to us all I guess. None of us pass off the scene as young looking as we arrived.

I’ve found that time is the most precious commodity we have.

There was an older gentleman I knew, who built his house in the Hollywood Hills several years ago under the Hollywood sign out here in L.A.(you could look up and see some of the letters from the sign from his back yard.) He told me, “don’t let the clock run out on you young man.”

I took it to mean, don’t die before finishing your mission. He’s gone on, but his words still haunt me today.

With the time remaining a mystery, I now face this next episode with a vision of entering it with wisdom.

Reevaluating more. Living more deliberate than before. Improving in areas of my life where needed. Treasuring the magnificent relationships I have. Embracing humility and self sacrifice even more than before. Executing balance. Passing on my experiences to the next generation, and enjoy watching them reach their goals and dreams.

Listen, I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon, I still have some measure of “senior vitality” but these days I wanna pass it on, pay it forward. Enjoying this next season of life.

Finally, my Brenda. You know, it gets harder for me to talk about our relationship without tearing up, the older I get.

I call tears “liquid words.”

Brenda Chambliss, my wife of 22 years has been such an incredible life partner, not because of what she does for me, but because of who she is and how she lives her life.

She loves the Lord, and loves me too, and proves both repeatedly.

She’s a great example to me of faith and not giving up. I’ve seen her sacrifices for our family, I’ve witnessed Brenda do very hard things, embracing challenges, figuring it out.

She inspires me, she encourages me to wanna live, she compels me to be better.

Winning her love has been the only dreamed that mattered that came true in my life. It’s a joy to live worthy of it each day.

I encourage you today, birthday or not, begin today, living with deliberate intent.

My uncle told me something many many years ago about life that’s 50 % true, and 50% alarming.

He said; “we are old too soon and learn too late”.

Please don’t let the latter be the case.

anablepsis.

If I were to ask several people their thoughts on God, there would no doubt be various opinions, ideas and comments.