Patience. The word elicits a sundry of thoughts and ideas for me. Why is it referred to as a virtue? Could it be considered a friend or foe in our lives?

Patience is defined as: the ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed.  

Seems almost impossible huh? Frankly, there are many blessed with this virtue, and if you’re one such person, you may find this post a little boring, but congratulations on this discipline just the same.

Those of us challenged in this area from time to time may find these examples familiar triggers for impatience; waiting in line, waiting in traffic, waiting for someone to make their point, waiting for money or an important document sent “snail mail.” 

It’s possible that patience can be developed and bring benefit to our relationships, overall attitude, giving a sense of gratitude, and is known to assist in areas of mental health. But is there a code to crack in getting patience? Is there a special endowment that comes on you and now you are capable of waiting without resistance anxiety free?

In Columbia Metropolitan Magazine, Thomas Barbian Ph.D. in his article The Skill of Patience (Learning to accept daily frustrations.) Dr. Barbian points out how surrender is an essential part of fostering patience.

“Surrender tends to have a negative connotation associated with it, likely from its use in the context of war. Yet, we surrender to certain realities all the time and don’t think twice. There is much in nature that we surrender to; such as gravity, seasons, daylight and darkness. We do not view surrender to those realities as a bad thing. Why? It is because we are sure we cannot change that specific reality, so we choose not to fight it; rather, we accept the reality”. 

This was a game changer for me in the matter of patience. I never saw patience and surrender working in tandem. When understood accurately, it allows acceptance of things we can’t change, and also things that could change us for the better.

Patience is designated to facilitate the process that fosters personal development. This gives us time for tug of war, resistance, kicking and screaming, acting out, pouting and complaining and when we’re finally done patience remains there to finish the job it’s purposed to do.

So I ask you kind friend, is patience friend or foe? You can decide by embracing it or repelling it.  anablepsis.