I was speaking with a friend the morning of writing this post. He was explaining to me about an opportunity he had that came around again, however the first time he’d gotten “cold feet”.

It got me thinking about opportunities I passed by because of “frozen toes”.

When opportunity knocks (the second time) how do we answer it?

There was a time for me, when personal growth meant starting things I’d never finish, as though beginning a thing was accomplishing it. I used to regret the knocking of opportunity. After hearing it I felt obligated to answer, even though I knew I wouldn’t be committed to its eventual required task.

It turns out I wasn’t the only one who backed out of opportunity knocking, almost everyone has at one time or another, having had that “wait-no-I’m-not-ready-please-don’t-make-me-grow”  moment. It’s common.

Some may feel because they’ve missed the boat before, somehow it means they’re banned from the dock forever. Growth doesn’t operate that way, as in a one time shot, this is not the Olympics, it’s more like a dance floor you can jump in awkwardly at any time! LOL.

Cold feet isn’t a character flaw. Let’s say an opportunity shows up wearing a “Personal Growth” name tag and there in that instant, one “freezes”. One may convince themselves: “I’m not ready.” or “I don’t have what it takes.” This is not failure, it’s fear wearing a very convincing disguise. It happens to everyone, even the people who look like they’ve got it all figured out. (Especially them! They’re just better at hiding their panic in aesthetically pleasing Social Media posts.)

Growth is patient. It doesn’t hold grudges. It doesn’t keep score. It doesn’t say, “Oh, you ignored me in 2020 huh?,  I’ll just help someone who has it more together.”

Nope. Growth is more like a laid-back friend who says, “Hey, I brought snacks. I’ll be over here, ready when you are.”

And that means even if you’ve walked away from change before from starting therapy, setting boundaries, pursuing your dream, saying no when you always said yes, it’s okay.

Start now. Still in your sweatpants? Great. Still scared? Totally normal. Still low-key mad at your past self for not doing it sooner? Join the club. But also, forgive yourself or forgive them, as the case may be. They did the best they could with what they had. They could never give you what you needed, so release them, (whether living or those who have passed on.)

So how would one allow opportunity now? Well, I’m no expert but I can offer some reasonable ideas:

1. Feel the Fear, Answer Anyway

No need to be fearless to grow, just willing. Willing to try. Willing to fail. Willing to get real uncomfortable, then in a while you look in the rearview mirror and say; “Oh wow, that actually wasn’t the end of the world!”

2. Start Small, But Start

Write one journal entry. Make one boundary. Say one honest thing out loud. Personal growth isn’t about radical reinvention overnight, it’s about the quiet courage to begin.

3. Laugh Through the Weird Parts

Growth is messy. So what if you trip over your own patterns. You may say things like, “I’m totally over from that,” then cry in the cereal aisle LOL! That’s not regression. That’s being a human with genuine emotions, doing your best.

4. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

You don’t need to become an entirely different person. You just need to become a more sincere and committed version of you. More honest. More intentional. More of you on purpose.

Finally, Open the Door

If you’ve hesitated before, fumbled your chances, or backed out at the last second, welcome. That doesn’t disqualify anyone from growth. In fact, it probably makes them more ready than ever.

Opportunity doesn’t need us to be perfect. It just needs us to stop pretending we’re not home.

So the next time opportunity knocks, answer.

Messy hair, shaky voice, half-sure?…. and all-in.

Because personal growth is not having never missed the boat, it’s really about learning to swim.

anablepsis.