The idea of mortality and growing older has never been more eye opening than these days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not uptight about it, I just have come to accept that I’m not a “spring chicken” anymore. So whether I prefer to broach the subject of “aging”(as some would prefer to say it) The signs are there, even though I need bifocals to read them.

When I look back, my body has been setting off alarms over the years. It happened more notably between the ages of 35-40. You might be able to relate to this happening at some point in your life as well. 

You know how it goes, a little pain here, a little soreness there, tingling in the fingertips every so often you notice steps and strides slowing down, bit by bit becoming more winded sooner. These were gradual alarms I sometimes ignored over the years.

You may say; ‘awe Kelvin, you just were a little out of shape, nothing a little exercise couldn’t fix.’ True, but somewhere in the back of my mind, while getting older, I realized what I was conceding in all of it, one fleeting thing ….. My Youth. LOL!

Seriously though, I really want to encourage you with this post (as I encourage myself!) Don’t let anyone count you out because of growing older, we all will get off this “ferris wheel of life” sooner or later, as we only get one trip around on it.

The reality is, you and I have learned some things while living here on this spinning planet. We have experience. We’ve overcome hardships, we have overcome setbacks, disappointments, some experiencing betrayal, death, sorrow and any number of losses but we are still here! Some may still find themselves living in the crucible of difficulty.

I’ve determined not to let my climbing age be an impediment, but an asset. Our true value comes from the inside, particularly if we know the Lord. 

He brings wisdom, understanding, and perspective that is above the limitations, coming from human wisdom, helping us to navigate through life.

At times, I can recall receiving divine solutions that I knew couldn’t have come from me!  It was helping in a subtle but faithful way. It was too brilliant to have come from my own mind. It was the guiding path coming from a loving Father.

Aging is a part of life, so why let it rob you from living a quality life now? We still have value, we have wisdom from experience. We’ve gained understanding that comes over time, memorable pain, this shouldn’t be discarded ….It has helped to shape who we are today. Don’t forget to share this wisdom with those willing to listen and that may find benefit from it. What if they avoid a pitfall? 

So enjoy growing older, laugh while you do it, laugh at yourself, have fun in these years we have left. 

Today is a gift, tomorrow isn’t promised.

anablepsis.

Fatherhood. From the onset let me say everyone doesn’t share my experience. Good, bad, or indifferent, for better or worse. I respect your experience whether having a father in your life or not, if you feel you’ve missed out or not. I’m not here to say you have or haven’t. I’m sensitive to this subject as it summons a variety of memories and emotions for some.

I’ve been fortunate to hear opinions on Fatherhood from a sundry of viewpoints. From the pain of having an irreplaceable Dad in the home and having him ripped away by death, an accident, sickness or another unfortunate circumstance, particularly at a time they needed him most (in some cases was out of your control and his) 

Perhaps you never met your father because you were too young when he passed. There are some fathers who were too volatile to be in the home because of the harm and unrest to mother and siblings. In these cases, when the father was removed it restored peace to the home as some have said, even while some children  still wanted Dad there to keep the family together regardless.

There is also an example of the father who was present but absent, being inside the home but his presence being nothing more than, symbol without substance. 

I may never exhaust the wide range of experiences each person may have about Dad inside or out of their lives. Fatherhood has always symbolized something publicly, even historically.

The expectation of a Dad depending on the era, represented something to the model of family in years gone by. 

Father meant, protector, provider, a source of wisdom and strength inside and out. This was the conventional line of thought when it prevailed.

Like children who come with instructions from the Bible; 

“Train up a child in the way that he should go; when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6,  

although this describes the parental instructions, children don’t automatically come with direction. 

The direction they should take is typically determined as they grow and develop. This is when you hear them say; ‘I want to be a doctor, lawyer, scientist, dancer, movie director etc. Even when they may not show proclivities to that specific occupation. This is when direction is needed. 

Listen to what the Bible says about children and direction 

3 Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Psalms 127:3-4 NIV 

Children are like arrows in the hands of warriors (parents) who have the responsibility to discern the direction of their children based on their strengths and leanings, but most vital, is God’s purpose for their lives. 

This was God’s original ideal, but not everyone’s experience even with the best of intentions of the parents who did their best.

This is why children can exemplify a direction in their adult years, quite different from the instructions of their upbringing. Dad’s are no different, who were also children at one time.

Fatherhood, in this ever changing world, like everything else seems to be determined by the general populace. 

Opponents of their ideas are often met with pushback from those seeking to maintain the standard or the status quo as they remember it. 

Some of the ideas may not be applicable as it may not be practical. Like the symbol of family supper time. A time when everyone ate together and discussed the day or children listened to what their parents discussed. 

These things may not be possible in our time because of work and school schedules, sports schedules with parents and children, or may no longer hold the relevance to the parents as it once did while growing up.

Fatherhood shaped my life. Willie James Chambliss. A great Dad, great provider and loving man to his family. You play the cards you’re dealt as a father and you do what you know and feel is best for your family.

My Dad and I talked about his regrets and “if I could do this over” convos, but he was the best Dad for me, he LOVED me and proved it. 

Today, my Dad would have turned 96. I got more than most from his life as a father and I’m eternally grateful….. Happy Heavenly 1st Birthday Dad.

anablepsis.

A man was driving his shiny convertible sports car one clear sunny afternoon on a beautiful stretch of a highway. After some time he came to a winding road that had been cut out through a mountain having two lanes, each going opposite directions. This road would eventually take the driver higher and higher with occasional dips and curves on the beautiful scenic route.

The driver would eventually come to a curve sharper than he’d anticipated and while trying to decline in speed without losing control of the vehicle, and as if that were not enough he found himself quickly having to avoid a huge boulder in the center of the road blocking his lane, in the short distance ahead. 

In an effort to circumvent it, he reflexively switched lanes into the oncoming traffic lane, where thankfully no one was heading however; on that side of the two lanes were no guardrails to protect cars from toppling over the cliffside. 

The driver swerved the car just missing the stone back into his proper lane, only to lose control careening his vehicle into the mountainside, ejecting him from his convertible to the opposite lane over the cliff. He found himself mercifully stuck suspended over the cliffside. 

The one thing keeping him from the endless plunge below was a lone but large branch protruding from the cliff of the mountain which snagged him by the shirt from the fall. 

While somehow managing to wrap his hands around the strong branch, he remained suspended between the unimaginable drop below and the 10 feet overhead that would be his way back to safety. While understandably holding on for dear life, the driver yelled out in desperation above; ‘is anyone up there?’ There was no answer. Again he yelled; ‘Help! is anyone up there’? Again, no answer. A third cry was to no avail. 

After a few minutes which seemed like an eternity of being suspended between life and death, with arms and hands losing strength, he screams out in earnest one last time; ‘is someone, anybody up there’!? In seconds he finally hears a voice but seeing no one replied ‘yes, I’m here’. The man still gripping the branch “white knuckled” by now, found relief in at least gaining some one’s attention hollers back; ‘please, will you help me?’ He hears a reply again, ‘Sure, I’ll help you, do you trust me’? 

Frustrated by such an unrelated and parochial question in that dire moment, the driver yells back ‘yes! yes! I trust you, please help me!’ The voice came back; ‘if you trust me, let go of the branch’. The man hesitates for a moment, looks down at the impossible drop, looks back up and humbly asks; ‘is there anyone else up there’???

This parable describes the human condition as it relates to faith. Faith is a result of absolute confidence and trust. This may even apply to the faith we have or may not have in God. Sometimes our need for Him is never more seen than when things are out of our control.

At times our fear seeks a second opinion, (hence the driver’s plea; ‘is there anyone else up there?’) It’s when we hear, but don’t see our present help, we ask; ‘is there anyone else with a more reasonable solution to my dire circumstance other than letting go?’ 

Abandoning our fear isn’t easy, particularly when facing uncertainty. Holding grudges, gripping to painful memories and unforgiveness will only allow fear to remain stationary in our lives. We work overtime to ensure that the negative deeds done to us, even words spoken over our lives will never come to hurt us again. Whether these words were spoken in passing or in jest. Maybe it’s time to let go of the branch. Holding on only wears us out. When we let go, we find the miracle of God’s hand present to rescue and even heal us. Letting go is to receive God’s loving care.

May this new year make us stronger in our faith, bring healing from the past, and confidence for the future.

anablepsis.

Well, it’s the last month of the year. (The actual date of writing this post was Tuesday October 29th 2024 4:30am PST.) So, I’ve been saving this since then, the following is the post in its entirety.  

I believe we will continue to see a different way of life, permanent change is here in the United States particularly. The change actually began expressing itself over the past several years. For some of us, we have been feeling the ground rumbling under our feet for a while now signaling that change is ahead. 

The dissatisfaction with life in our country, the increasing difficulty in remaining silent. People and groups have started taking matters into their own hands as growing unrest with the norms and freedoms practiced in the U.S. some believe are being threatened. No matter what side of the aisle one finds themselves, and while this post is NOT political, and this post is NOT religious, it may very well be prophetic.

Change is coming to the US and indeed the world, we will all feel it sooner or later. God is speaking to mankind in various ways through these activities. Weather, politics, sickness and disease, the list goes on and on.

These changes can be seen through churches and the various ways we gather to worship. The closing of churches, the removal of pastors. Churches are still meeting virtually post pandemic if at all, while others returned. Changes in educational spaces and the way information is collected in seconds and how proximate we are to that information, and how fast it can be retrieved. 

Remember the days of going to the library for information? 

Innovation in business through technology, with the addition of  A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) the robotic advancement in hotels, restaurants, self driven cars etc. 

Changes brought forth gradually, subtly over time. 

As all of you receiving this email know; I am a man of faith. So what does this actually mean? Many use the term; “men and women of faith”. 

Here is a definition I found online: “A man or woman of faith is someone who trusts in God, has confidence, and is fearless. They believe in God’s words and are encouraged and comforted by them. They also understand that they are loved by God and are a precious creation”. 

While this is a good definition and carries aspects and similarities to my personal definition. I would say it like this; I trust the true and living God. 

I know that various religions and traditions hold beliefs that are different.  This is my personal belief. I seek to live like Jesus Christ, He has been the best example for me to model and live my life after. 

I believe He lives inside my heart (the core of my being, not the muscle) because one day, I invited Him to actually live THROUGH me taking residence. 

This has influenced not just my faith, but my marriage, extended relationships, my behavior, the way I think, love, and the patience I have with myself and others. 

This improvement list will grow just as I am growing.

I find that Jesus Christ’s teachings in the Bible are NOT best substantiated in my life by my teaching, but by the example of my living.

It is through this prism, I see God, the world, and my place inside of it. I’m saying this to say; come what may, I am NOT alarmed and am not fearful for the changes that are coming upon us because I believe God will be speaking through it.

While that’s all well and good for me and Brenda and our family, I want you to experience the same confidence we have through these (could be, troubling uncomfortable times) that God will take care of us and keep us, as we come to know Him more closely and seek His plan for our lives in more of a deliberate and personal way.

The problems we are facing and will face will NOT be solved with the solutions we’ve known before. Who will be  the next President? Can he or she make it better for us? Who will fix and save us from this? Who do we look to or where should we look?

This is what God says; So do NOT fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10. 

This promise however, comes with a condition dear friend. 

The solution for all these difficult circumstances and chaotic times we have seen and the destabilization we’ve yet to see has a spiritual panacea, taken from the Bible. 

No matter how you slice it up, you can’t mistake the steps that God is requiring as a way back to Him and peacefulness for our own lives even if not in the world at large.

If people who are called by My name will humble themselves , and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

I look forward to seeing what awaits ahead in 2025.

anablepsis.

As we get closer to the holiday of Thanksgiving I’ve been pondering.  What is the true spirit of Thanksgiving? 

Should it only be limited to the traditional family dinners with relatives and friends? While these moments of celebration have their place, and undoubtedly should be enjoyed, a spirit of thanksgiving and gratitude might be something worth considering.

If not careful, things we’ve come to expect to be routine, predictable and stable can easily be overlooked without the spirit of thanksgiving. 

I’m calling the spirit of thanksgiving a lifestyle of giving thanks and expressing gratefulness for things we tend not to observe until they are missed. These can fall into the category of people, circumstances, relationships, an advantage or status of privilege in something everyone may not enjoy.

Something as simple as waking each morning with our health and strength. How about leaving home and coming back to a house intact with everything still standing as you left it and couple that; with some of our fellow Americans who have been displaced by the tragic storms, over the past several weeks. Their lives totally upended and altered for some, irreparably.  

Think about getting in your car and thoughtlessly expecting it to fire up to take you to the errand or responsibilities and appointments you have on the schedule, and making it safely home without incident. These are things that might be taken for granted, which should be cause for giving thanks.

With the speed of our lives these days along with the distractions within that pace, we might overlook obvious things we really are grateful for that often go without notice or mention.

As a way of personal testimonial. I’m coming to see the benefit and lessons gleaned from the hard and difficult times in my life as well. And while I would never ask for them, they come unexpectedly and unsolicited. Anyway, who would look at heartbreak, disappointment and pain only to surprisingly find healing, hope and strength? These aren’t typical places to find added value for our lives, but we could. 

We will have involuntary encounters that bring us good results even though we would never like to revisit the way it all played out. The resilience, independence and wisdom we received, for these things we should be grateful and give thanks. They have made us who we are today for the better.

So in this season of Thanksgiving remember to give thanks  for the good, the bad, the difficult and unthinkable.

 After all, it didn’t do to us in the end what it could have or even may have been designed to do. We have survived, and it’s a lot to be thankful for!

Happy Giving Thanks,

anablepsis

In a few days my wife Brenda, will be celebrating her birthday. While this post will be a total surprise to her, I am sending this out as an homage, as I think of lessons I’m learning from our journey together.  

Marriage is hard. Good marriages take work and great marriages take commitment. While this post isn’t about marriage, the observation is certainly noteworthy.

Commitment has little to do with feelings and more to do with doing it regardless. Like anything, there will be days we’re just not feeling it. We all have them, even though responsibility compels us to bite the bullet. 

Our steadfastness to the value of commitment in areas of our faith, family, work, learning and personal development, adds strength to the foundation for our lives. 

Except in rare cases, I’ll bet someone, somewhere is counting on us to be loyal, available, healthy, honest, dependable, listening, compassionate, faithful, forgiving, prayerful and supportive, and this list may be inexhaustible.

While commitment isn’t for the faint of heart, its main focus isn’t self serving, but a focus on others, and is outreaching. It ensures and gives confidence to another that we can be counted on and will remain steady.

As one would expect, there will be obstacles to what we commit ourselves to, which behooves us to consider before committing. 

At times there are things out of our control, death, delays, bad weather, bad health, terrible timing, unforeseen circumstances… However, when we honor our obligation we go the distance even above and beyond at times. 

Even in the toughest of circumstances, we strive to keep our commitment as best as humanly possible, as they should be consciously made and honorably upheld.

Granted, that’s how I envision commitment, you may not agree with me at all, but in my perception of commitment, it’s not easy to get out of, because our word is on the line. 

This is why we should count the cost BEFORE commiting.

That said; this is what I wanted to describe to you about Brenda, her commitment in standing with me through a severe rough patch of life. She has been commitment personified, it inspires me to live more committed as well!

I realize everyone doesn’t have this, and frankly I don’t have it because I deserve it, but in some way God smiled on me and sent kindness my way. 

By the way, this commitment is a two way street! So my prayer for you isn’t to have what I have, but better. Maybe it won’t be found in a marital  relationship or maybe it will.

My cautionary question is; is it the commitment you seek to provide for others in a selfless way, or is it the commitment you’re holding out for to receive from them?  The good news is, we get to decide.

Happy Birthday Brenda and thank you for your selfless devotion.

anablepsis.

Last night I dreamed I was living inside my last day of life. I hasten to point out that I’ve never been able to choreograph my dreams, let alone remember them. I’ll further add, I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. As I consider it further, I believe this dream contains more insight than death and its reality. This dream reminded me of the gravity and value of time. Time is one of the most valuable resources in life itself because of how finite and irreplaceable it is. 

Once a moment passes, it can never be retrieved, making time more precious than money or any material possession. How we use time directly impacts what we can achieve. There is what we prefer to do, and there is what we should do. At times we are unable to differentiate the two. 

Have you ever passed on something that wasn’t pressing, but important? We chose comfort or entertainment over the thing that wasn’t pressing, but necessary.

Time, like equity, can add value to our lives. I received a notice in the mail that my drivers license was expiring in about 90 days. The time it took to fill out the DMV application online without being “under the gun”gave me  peace of mind, averting an expired license experience or spending hours in line at the DMV on the last day. 

That time could now be used in another productive way. No stress.

Our life is essentially the sum total of our time. The experiences, relationships, and memories that define our lives are all built in how we spend our time. 

The choices we make in how, where and with whom we spend our time may be just as important as time itself. 

The nature of time is that each of us is running out of it everyday, all day. This befits us to remember the prayer of Moses in Psalm 90:12; ‘So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom’ – ESV

Because life is so brief, Moses prays to God for wisdom on how to use our days because of how few there are left. 

In other words, “Give us Your wisdom, that teaches us how to best use our time.” -Kelvin translation

This opens up something important. Have you ever considered yourself just a manager of time rather than an owner of it? 

When it comes to life, we don’t “punch our own time clock”to exit. So with this in mind, I see the importance of Moses’ appeal all the more. 

Try to enjoy quality moments that aren’t clouded with complaining, dissatisfaction, anxiety and the like, this is our one and only tour through life, and it’s far too short… don’t sweat the small stuff.  

anablepsis.

George is a gentleman who walks within a 5 mile radius of the neighborhood my parents have lived in for several years, in a suburb of Illinois. He lives about 4 doors down from my parents. 

Ever since my folks moved to this neighborhood, there was George. I’ve seen him walk in winter, spring, summer and fall….consistently.

Well, I may as well “spill the beans” now about my fascination with George and his walks. You see, George doesn’t walk erect as most of us do, he is bent forward as his normal posture allows, and as he walks from a bent position, he doesnt go all the way up to a full standing position. So if you can imagine starting half way and just going almost midway up and back down, is how he walks. It’s a rhythmic walk of up and down. 

There is a medical condition he was diagnosed with in his 20’s. From what I’m told, he will never get better. My Dad told me years ago he’s seen mild improvements over the years in his posture, but George keeps walking, diligently.

So what can be so intriguing to me about a man and his walks?  You see, George walks in pain.

So the question comes to me; ‘why would a person continue to walk in pain with no guarantee of ever getting better’? 

I’m not sure, but here begins my post. 

As humans, we are prone to comfort and ease. (It’s not a knock,) it’s a common trait among humans. We want it ‘not too hot”, ‘not too cold’ but ju-u-u-st right…. perfect!

It’s rare that I’m willing to wait in long lines at the market, restaurant or a short handed bank teller line if given the choice. I’ve been conditioned to a fast paced life. I don’t know about you but, I’ve been spoiled by more speed, faster, quicker internet, etc. Amazon provides some items the same day for folks who can’t or would rather not wait. The list goes on.

With all our conveniences today one wonders how our predecessors ever made it? They feared things in their day, and we have anxiety in ours, but some of the things I may grapple over today, barely qualifies to have anxiety over it at all. 

In the 1940s and 1950s, people often feared the threat of nuclear war and the potential devastation it could bring. This fear was pervasive during the Cold War era, especially heightened during events like the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962. 

Today, while concerns about nuclear war still exist, many people also experience anxiety over issues like climate change, cyber attacks, and global pandemics, and other societal fears. 

I hasten to say, I don’t make light of anyone’s misfortune or things that trigger anxiety for them, however there are those who have everything and still worry themselves into oblivion! To me, this prevents one from acknowledging just how good they have it, and the countless people that would LOVE to trade places.

To see someone like George, while given no favorable prognosis of ever getting better and walking in pain leaves me compelled to salute him. 

There was a man in bible times who’s name was Enoch.(Genesis 5:24, Hebrews 11:5) Enoch, similar to George, was known for walking but he walked with God…. that’s all, he walked. Bible history records he walked so well with God, he disappeared, God actually took him! This was NOT a bad thing, it was actually great because God saw Enoch’s consistent and pure walk and said, ‘Enoch, your walking days are over now, come rest with me’.

I can’t say whether George is walking with God or not, but I’m certain God is walking with him! Maybe his walks may not lead to a disappearing act like Enoch in his case, but maybe God left him here as a witness and even a reminder of God’s goodness to me, and how things don’t necessarily have to be as good as they are.

While George doesn’t walk for show, it’s hard not to notice him, and knowing a little more of him from my limited periphery than before, who’s to say that God may have left him here as a reminder to be thankful and how it might be time to replace an occasional gripe with gratitude…..thank you for the lesson George, see you on the trail.

anablepsis. 

I have an affinity for inspirational stories. I was moved by a particular clip I saw online of a young woman that gave a moving performance from the television series America’s Got Talent (2021.)

She referred to herself simply as Jane. It was a moving performance personally written entitled; “It’s Okay’ as sung by her stage name Nightbirde.

What was striking to me beyond the performance was her story.

At the time of the taping of the show, we learned that the song was written to encourage herself and others that, “It’s Okay.” Jane was battling cancer, which by then spread to her lungs, spine and liver. 

While the judges and audience were caught off guard, in a split second we were all reminded that with all the problems we have, and things we desired were better … .someone has it worse. 

But it went further for me. Jane’s attitude in living with her condition and her resolve inspired me. She said to the audience and judges; “I’m so much more important than the bad things that happened to me.” What a perspective!

We all have things in our lives we can complain about, (and almost (simultaneously) we all have things we can be grateful for. Gratitude is a decision, it’s a choice we make even in loss. It’s in loss that we show gratitude for what we have left.

Granted, this may be a stretch for some because of how we’ve been conditioned and trained to see life and outcomes.

But every now and again, every once in a while, a Jane comes along to remind us “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy” … .

Thank You Jane, Good night Nightbirde. 12/29/90-02-19-2022  

anablepsis.

Patience. The word elicits a sundry of thoughts and ideas for me. Why is it referred to as a virtue? Could it be considered a friend or foe in our lives?

Patience is defined as: the ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed.  

Seems almost impossible huh? Frankly, there are many blessed with this virtue, and if you’re one such person, you may find this post a little boring, but congratulations on this discipline just the same.

Those of us challenged in this area from time to time may find these examples familiar triggers for impatience; waiting in line, waiting in traffic, waiting for someone to make their point, waiting for money or an important document sent “snail mail.” 

It’s possible that patience can be developed and bring benefit to our relationships, overall attitude, giving a sense of gratitude, and is known to assist in areas of mental health. But is there a code to crack in getting patience? Is there a special endowment that comes on you and now you are capable of waiting without resistance anxiety free?

In Columbia Metropolitan Magazine, Thomas Barbian Ph.D. in his article The Skill of Patience (Learning to accept daily frustrations.) Dr. Barbian points out how surrender is an essential part of fostering patience.

“Surrender tends to have a negative connotation associated with it, likely from its use in the context of war. Yet, we surrender to certain realities all the time and don’t think twice. There is much in nature that we surrender to; such as gravity, seasons, daylight and darkness. We do not view surrender to those realities as a bad thing. Why? It is because we are sure we cannot change that specific reality, so we choose not to fight it; rather, we accept the reality”. 

This was a game changer for me in the matter of patience. I never saw patience and surrender working in tandem. When understood accurately, it allows acceptance of things we can’t change, and also things that could change us for the better.

Patience is designated to facilitate the process that fosters personal development. This gives us time for tug of war, resistance, kicking and screaming, acting out, pouting and complaining and when we’re finally done patience remains there to finish the job it’s purposed to do.

So I ask you kind friend, is patience friend or foe? You can decide by embracing it or repelling it.  anablepsis.