Patience. The word elicits a sundry of thoughts and ideas for me. Why is it referred to as a virtue? Could it be considered a friend or foe in our lives?

Patience is defined as: the ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed.  

Seems almost impossible huh? Frankly, there are many blessed with this virtue, and if you’re one such person, you may find this post a little boring, but congratulations on this discipline just the same.

Those of us challenged in this area from time to time may find these examples familiar triggers for impatience; waiting in line, waiting in traffic, waiting for someone to make their point, waiting for money or an important document sent “snail mail.” 

It’s possible that patience can be developed and bring benefit to our relationships, overall attitude, giving a sense of gratitude, and is known to assist in areas of mental health. But is there a code to crack in getting patience? Is there a special endowment that comes on you and now you are capable of waiting without resistance anxiety free?

In Columbia Metropolitan Magazine, Thomas Barbian Ph.D. in his article The Skill of Patience (Learning to accept daily frustrations.) Dr. Barbian points out how surrender is an essential part of fostering patience.

“Surrender tends to have a negative connotation associated with it, likely from its use in the context of war. Yet, we surrender to certain realities all the time and don’t think twice. There is much in nature that we surrender to; such as gravity, seasons, daylight and darkness. We do not view surrender to those realities as a bad thing. Why? It is because we are sure we cannot change that specific reality, so we choose not to fight it; rather, we accept the reality”. 

This was a game changer for me in the matter of patience. I never saw patience and surrender working in tandem. When understood accurately, it allows acceptance of things we can’t change, and also things that could change us for the better.

Patience is designated to facilitate the process that fosters personal development. This gives us time for tug of war, resistance, kicking and screaming, acting out, pouting and complaining and when we’re finally done patience remains there to finish the job it’s purposed to do.

So I ask you kind friend, is patience friend or foe? You can decide by embracing it or repelling it.  anablepsis.

What is it about babies that makes us go “coo coo for Cocoa Puffs”? It is said that; interacting with babies can evoke powerful emotional responses due to their innocence, vulnerability, and potential for growth.

Babies often display behaviors such as smiling, cooing, and reaching out for interaction, which can be inherently rewarding for adults. Additionally, caring for and nurturing a baby can fulfill psychological needs for love, connection, and purpose.

When our son Vinny FaceTimes his Mom with our soon to be 8 month old granddaughter, my wife is immediately raptured into a love frenzy.

Her smile is as bright as the sun bellowing out beams of unbridled joy and laughter from her heart, (much like I used to do in those early dating years!) Just kidding. Here is Brenda; “Grandma loves that little girl”! “How are you doing today”? “Are you doing okay”?

This goes on for a strong 3-4 minutes as I somehow manage to steal 30 seconds from our face-time before she has had enough of both of us. She’ll start squirming and becoming discontent as though she suddenly finds the audience of her grandparents boring and nothing can save us! It’s over!

This precious life can summon mirth in an instant. It’s a chance for us to experience love in a moment from a pure source. No animosity, no schemes, no admission charge.

I’ve always felt babies were kind of a litmus test to me. If a baby is passed around the room over time and doing well and playful with others, and then delivered to me and starts crying and screaming uncontrollably, and they have been changed and fed, no upset stomach, their gums aren’t agitated from teething, I might wonder ‘is it me’? Because the winners are the ones who can make the baby smile, laugh, and interact with you.

I realize as an adult, it’s impossible to turn back the clock to that state of innocence, purity, and harmless existence, (it’s a wrap!) But there was a time in my first 6 months of life, I was
bringing joy and garnering admiration from onlookers. You may not remember, but there was a time you too were the talk of the town!

I watch our 16 year old grandson holding his baby sister as we used to hold and cuddle him. Time goes so fast. I remember strapping our grandson Jeremiah in his car seat, bringing in tow, his entourage of playpen, car seats, toys, and diaper bag.

It was about a year ago, when this same baby boy who grew up to be a young man with facial hair and a deepened tenor voice who advised me and grandmother to put on our seatbelts as he was now chauffeuring us! The pure joy in the circle of life.

anablepisis

I always say, ‘there’s nothing like a good laugh!’ I’m sure there is debate somewhere out there as to whether it’s good or not. A sundry of circumstances at just the right time could make us laugh. Whatever triggers your laughter, I’ve come to learn that it just might be good for our health after all.

According to an article in News Medical Life Sciences late last year “There are two different types of laughter found in humans, including involuntary emotionally-driven laughter, which is reliant on a positive emotional state, and voluntary laughter that represents the intentional reproduction of emotional laughter.”  

The article goes on to say; according to Psychologist, Susan Albers, explaining how humor can impact immunity in positive ways, stating, “Laughter helps to boost the immune system, which makes us more resistant to disease. Also, it decreases stress hormones, which are taxing to the immune system. On the other hand, laughter increases the antibody-producing cells and T cells in our bodies. These cells are like a defense army against illness.”

So there you have it, you and I have a medical clearance to laugh to our heart’s content!

Even though so much is happening so quickly in our lives, it’s a good practice to avoid stress at all costs. It can encroach on our peace before we know it. 

Stress quietly enters the defenses through repetitive thinking and meditating on things we tend to worry about. If not harnessed, and managed quickly and effectively, it is allowed to grow to the semblance of living under an emotional and psychological RED alert inside the mind!

Granted, there’s a lot going on in the world, in our homes, relationships, job, education, business that requires sobriety. We must be vigilant.

But every now and then, something happens that may strike the funny bone just right. Don’t pass up the opportunity to laugh. Get it all out… and feel better!

anablepsis.

Time. Ever present but fleeting. The sweeping second hand of a clock. In a second, something gained, something lost. I was awakened this morning to a tragedy of a young man we knew through our neighbor, killed in an auto accident, just a few short hours ago. 

Driving home from getting a late night snack. The video footage showed him approaching the intersection northbound on a green light and was met by someone barreling through the intersection at a high rate of speed torpedoing eastbound into the intersection hitting the side of his car…I believe he never knew what hit him.

Instantly in eternity. Death interrupted him from making it home. Only doing as he had done before on that fateful night.

I hadn’t seen this young man in years but the last time I did, was at a cookout over a holiday, little did I know it would be the last time I would see him alive.

While the story is very sad for the family and friends more closely connected, the haunting reminder is ever present through the haze of grief …. time.

A curious thing about time, not always viewed for the precious commodity it is. My daughter Erika, who we lost over two years ago, was given 12,541 days on this earth. She didn’t know it, I didn’t know it. 

Like a silent person on a journey, time moves through the earth, punching eternal time clocks in and out of life. 

cycles….seasons…. moments. The sands are always silently streaming through the hourglass.

A wise king once said concerning time in his record found  in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend

a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

No matter where we are in the span of time, these words ring true. 

Someone weeping this morning over loss of life, while others are rejoicing over brand new life that science and the medical community said could never be..a miracle!

Someone is up early this morning grappling over a problem searching desperately for a solution. Another just received an answer to prayer. 

Someone is facing court today worrying about an outcome they may or may not face, while a couple is getting prepared to catch a flight, headed on a trip of a lifetime. Someone is battling to stay alive another day in hospice, while another is getting dressed for the first day of their new job.

All of these activities are happening under the same sky, in the context of time. 

How will we fill this day with the time given? What positive memories will we create? What can we say to someone who needs to hear an encouraging word?

How will you and I use this year, month, day, hour minute and second for good? 

We can, if we will.

anablepsis. 

Welcome to 2024! Is it me or did the past 12 months seem to fly by? 

As 2024 is now a reality, have you asked yourself (before now) ‘how will I show up in 2024, what will be different this year than in prior ones’?

Here’s a burning question for the ages; Have you discovered your life’s purpose? 

It may or may not be found in what you do or have done for a living. My guess, is that you’ve been living it out for years without knowing it. You may not see it as a purposeful assignment; perhaps you’ve brushed it aside. 

Have you noticed how and where you positively affect things around you? I believe it’s there, maybe not as visible because you do it fluidly without thinking and could relegate it as just part of your human makeup or personality.

Some have discovered their purpose in life but have yet to put it to use. Well, I’m standing here in 2024 to remind you it’s not too late. 

Look for clues: 

What things are improved after your input?
Do you find yourself effortlessly solving problems?
Do you have a knack for being creative? Making something from nothing, or causing something to be more serviceable than before?
Do you communicate in a way where you are heard and understood clearly and others are motivated by what they hear coming from you?
Do you have compassion for the less fortunate and disadvantaged?  

Let me encourage you to take note of things you do excellently with little or no effort, these may be tools for your assignment in the purpose of your life.

If you’re reading this post, there is still time to discover your purpose. Once you identify and acknowledge it, you can begin putting it to good use, regardless of how much time you have left.  

Grant it, some of us need to get on with it more than others because the clock is ticking and we don’t have as many New Year’s left than others, however we have now and we have today. Don’t let what you’ve done already, your age, your status in life whether good or bad define what could be ahead.

I pray you discover your assignment this year. I pray you improve on your assignment this year. I pray you bring a better and more complete YOU to the assignment.

Happy New Year, and Happy New YOU!

Kelvin 

Photo Credit: Brenda Chambliss

As we approach the day known to most of the world as Christmas, I’ll share some thoughts.

Originally, Christmas was designed to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ.

Over the years the focus gradually shifted from the announcement of glad tidings of Jesus’ birth through Christmas carols, gilded houses bearing the nativity scene of baby Jesus with parents Joseph, Mary and wise men in tow to Santa, reindeers and Frosty the Snowman!

 Isn’t it interesting how over time we segue from the original intent of Christmas to sales and marketing and never knew when it actually happened?… I digress.

 The purpose of this post is concerning thoughts I have of those who get lost during the holidays and suffer from what was coined as “Holiday Blues.” 

I thought suicide spiked around this time of year until I came across an article from last year’s December edition of U.S. News; that found in Research from the Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania, that this was a myth. In a poll it was discovered that 56% (including me) believed this was true, while 44% debunked the idea.

 While I’m thrilled to know that the idea of people not cutting their lives short during the holidays isn’t at an all time high based on research and reporting, I still believe there is no better time to remember and appreciate those we care about and love and to be thoughtful to remind them that they are not forgotten all year round.

 Holidays mean different things to various people. This past Thanksgiving, while gathered around an intimate table with my wife Brenda, Dad, Mom and siblings, my mind drifted from the blessing before me to those alone inside a circumstance no making of their own. Death, desertion, divorce can change the landscape of one’s life in just one day. Young people and children who aimlessly meander through times of festive celebration and finding themselves strangers to what’s going on around them because they have no place to call home or family.

Many face challenges daily with no ‘break in the action’ as their responsibilities anchor them to circumstances that give them NO holiday or respite.

 Don’t get me wrong, in every station of life we may find ourselves, there is always something to be grateful for, YES even in the worst cases of life. For God’s merciful eye to locate us in sorrow, loss, grief or pain is a blessing.

 So here is my challenge to us; from now until December 25th and indeed through the rest of this year, let’s take time and think of others and make ourselves the blessing we would like to see. An unanticipated phone call could do it, a house visit, a card, an opportunity to meet a need and show good will.

Isaiah 9:6 says; Unto us a child was born, unto us a Son is given…

Yes, He was a baby in a manger, but grew up to become Savior and King, so let’s continue His wonderful legacy first by ensuring He is OUR Savior and dedication our lives to serving as citizens of His Kingdom.

 Warmest and Best Wishes year round.

The thing that pulled me out from where I was, is the news of a great friend of mine gone missing and it has been a long time now. He called Brenda on her birthday and that was it. Never heard from him since.

I’m writing this to try and capture feelings and emotions in this space. It’s numbing, its grief, it’s sadness, open ended.

My friend lived in Chicago, I met him at the church my father Pastored several years ago, he attended regularly and we connected from there.

He helped me work out with weights and the machine, I loss a teenager (in weight!) and got fit. Yep, “a lean mean fighting machine”, I didn’t fight though, just trained.

My friend taught me about running and finishing strong. I learned how in running to increase in distance incrementally and run through the finish in the end, don’t just stop.

We had different upbringings, different history, but one thing in common, we loved the Lord. We stood together through much pain and grief over the years, each bearing our soul to each other. I will always remember those times. They built us, they grew us up and matured us.

It’s strange without a formal goodbye. It’s weird because  even while not talking for brief periods of time, there was nothing final to it, it was like putting a book mark in a book and picking up where you left off next time. This feels different.

The longer the days go by, the more it seems unlikely to see him again.

This is just another sobering reminder to be conscious of the time spent, and time shared. Had I known that last conversation would find me here, I would’ve said something much different before hanging up.

Truth is, we never know…So, now I’m making adjustments that leave my last talk, my last acknowledgment, more meaningful, more lasting because we never know it may be the last.

anablepsis.

On days when you’re low, feeling down, despondent or even anxious, did you know that 80% of things we worry about never happens?

Life is a cavalcade of episodes and experiences that come to teach us, build us, and to give us knowledge, into becoming mature and established humans.

Hard times usually accomplishes this, disappointment usually achieves it, but the benefits from them aren’t seen initially but over time. How we see circumstances is one thing, what we understand about them and the benefits as a result is another. Some of our ways and practices reach their end, to transition us into a more preferable and fruitful way of being. This change may come voluntarily or involuntarily but it rescues us from the part of ourselves we’re blinded to that may cause harm to ourselves or others and threaten our future.

The detours, change of direction don’t abort the goal but often times ensures it, protects it. This change of direction neither diminishes our value or worth as a person but reveals it over time. To me humility is preferred  more than humiliation, the first is my choice, the second is a result of NOT choosing to do the first.

Let wisdom through the challenges of our time teach us and lead us into a more balanced and improved version of who God has called and designed us to be.

Let God complete the work in progress presently in your life and the positive results He wants to bring to fruition .

anablepsis

Photo Credit: Brenda Chambliss

Hey everybody I needed some time away from writing. But I’m back and will seek to post every three days or so again.