There are some things in life we notice immediately.

We notice when something is missing. We notice when something breaks. We notice when someone stops doing what it’s always done.

But strangely enough, we don’t always notice what is faithfully there.

I’ve been thinking about this lately.

It’s amazing how easily we can become accustomed to the people, kindnesses, routines, and quiet acts of love that make our lives better. Not because we are ungrateful people. Sometimes it’s simply because something has been there so consistently that we begin to expect it.

And expectation can slowly turn into familiarity, familiarity can eventually become invisibility if not careful.

Someone who makes sure things get done. Someone remembers what we forget. Someone takes the picture, makes the call, handles the details, encourages the idea, listens to the story they may have heard before, or quietly helps us become better at what we do.

After a while, we can begin to see the result without seeing the person behind it.

This is worth considering.

Sometimes we don’t fully recognize the value of something until it changes or until it’s no longer there. Then suddenly we realize how much that person, relationship, friendship, routine, or kindness contributed to the quality of our lives.

What if gratitude didn’t require absence to bring it to mind?

The people we love shouldn’t have to stop doing what they do before we recognize what they have been doing. Perhaps one of the disciplines of a meaningful life is learning to look again. 

Look again at the person who has walked beside you for years. 

Look again at the friend who keeps checking in on you.

 Look again at the family member who quietly shows up.

 Look again at the people who support what you do without needing their name attached to it.

Look again at the ordinary moments that have become so familiar that we may have forgotten how extraordinary they really are.

There are blessings we pray for, and there are blessings we have lived with so long that we have forgotten they were once an answer to prayer.

That thought humbles me.

It reminds me not to wait for a special occasion to appreciate people. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and celebrations are wonderful reminders, but gratitude ought to become part of how we live.

So, say a meaningful, heart-felt “thank you” while some one can hear it. Give them their flowers.

Notice the small things while they are still happening.

Appreciate faithfulness while it is still standing beside you.

And never assume that because someone knows you love and appreciate them, there is no need to say it.

Which brings me to someone very close to home.

In a few days, my wife Brenda is celebrating her birthday.

Those who see these monthly posts may not know that she is also my photographer and publisher. Much of what you see has her fingerprints somewhere on it. There is much more I could say about who she is to me, but some applause belongs in private places, where love does not need an audience.

So I will simply say this publicly:

Brenda, thank you for what you do, for what you contribute, and especially for who you are.

Happy Birthday,

May this next year of your life return to you some of the joy, kindness, encouragement, and love you have so faithfully given to others.

And to everyone reading this: before today is over, take another look at someone you may have grown accustomed to.

Don’t let familiarity make something precious invisible.

anablepsis